My new old brothers and sisters

Something really interesting happened this year. For some reason, God decided it was time for me and my brothers and sisters to be reunited, to start building relationships. Our father here didn't invest any time getting us acquainted, so we grew up knowing next to nothing about each other, just that somewhere in the world, there were other people that shared our blood. I grew up in a small town, but my mother made sure i had contact with my siblings living in the city, and that enriched my life immensely. Now i have met so many new ones, so many different people, with lives that are a mystery to me, with so many different ways of life, and yet so similar to me. Looking at them, i see so many common physical traits, it's weird- after all, we were not born from the same woman. It seems to me that these common traits are more than skin deep however- we seem to think alike in many ways, and most of all we share that craziness that makes us shine (or be embarrassed, depending on the day)... I can't wait to see my brothers and sisters, to get to know them, to learn about them. Will they like me? I hope so.
Now i have so many things to learn: Italian, sign language, how to behave in public - wait, that last one might be impossible, baby steps: try to be less crazy might work better ;) - and hopefully be a better sister than i have been until now.
For the ones i grew up seeing, i wish i could bring them here with me (in the winter, so we can be miserable together? no? ok ok), i miss you all so much. Tony, there's not one day that i don't think about you, specially when i see comic books and other things that i am sure you'd be crazy about... I wish i was rich, so i could send you all the things you'd like. I even miss fighting with you, and having you call me names. Marianth, i am so sad i'm missing Jael's growing up years, and hanging out with you in Zona Colonial. My times sitting with you, Gloria and your mom have been the happiest of my adult life, besides getting married and having Lara. I think of you too every day, specially on Tuesdays, i don't know why. Gloria, i miss you too- even though it really hurt my feelings that the last time i went to Santo Domingo, you couldn't give me one minute of your time to let me see you... And i don't even know what i did to offend you. And Carolina, even though the past 10 years i've only seen you about three times, i miss you too. And I love you all, even if i probably never said it.
I don't know how it is for all of you, but meeting you like this has brought out lots of things i hadn't thought about before. And a lot of anger with myself for not trying hard enough to find you. Hope we can get to love each other, and that our relationship grows in years to come... Let's not make this facebook thing the only meaningful interaction we have- Let's work on getting together and building up on this, so we can truly call each other sister and brother.
Anyway, i've gotten emotional again- as usual. I better get my butt to bed, i think i had enough of that for now. Hugs to you all- if you kept reading my ramblings, that is.

Amazing Grace

There are a few songs in the English language that for some reason bring tears to my eyes. Specially the one named "amazing grace", and i never stopped to think why. But today, as i sang it in church, i started to really pay attention to the parts that upset me, and realized that it is not the beautiful lyrics that get me, is the fact that i still struggle with the notion of an unconditional love from a father. As an adult, i understand that God loves me, but there's a part of me that thinks that i have to do "things" to earn that love...That somehow, if i don't, God will revise his list and cross me out. That somehow he made a mistake choosing me, and that as such, i need to keep proving my worth. I think this way of irrational thinking comes from the kind of relationship i have, or lack of having i might say, with my father on Earth. In this world, love is conditional. In His, is eternal. So simple, yet it's taking my whole life to understand it. As a geek that loves science, i won't be able to rest until i dissect this song and explain what i feel about its parts...Why it makes me feel better to expose my heart like this, i don't know, but it does. Someone told me once that writing was therapeutic, that there's healing in just taking it out. I just have this need to write my thoughts tonight, and i can't sleep thinking about it...So might as well do it.
Amazing grace How sweet the sound That saved a wretch like me
Even as i was not what people would typically consider a wild child, i have struggled with lies and being a manipulative bitch (as someone called me once- after i broke his heart), and i lived for myself only, easily disregarding other people's feelings. I was my own idol, and as all idols, my feet were made of clay. I'd appear as a happy confident woman to those that didn't know me, even cold. But the truth is that i was looking for that unconditional love from a father that i never had, in relationships where i was adored, but in which i didn't have to get too involved myself. For once, i wanted to be the one rejecting, ignoring- it made me happy to see grown men crying for me, i remember deliberately hiding from one guy because i knew he'd be hurt, that gave me joy...I am amazed at how God has changed my life, my way of thinking, my heart, from the inside out. And i didn't deserve it then, and i certainly don't deserve it now, but God loves ME, for who i am, He chose me- with all my flaws.

I once was lost, but now I'm found Was blind, but now I see
You know what the worst part is? I didn't even know i was lost. I was unhappy, yet convinced that i was as happy as anyone else around me, so why change anything...

'Twas grace that taught my heart to fear And grace my fears relieved
So far, I've done many of the things i most fear... I moved away from my family, had a child, trusted a man with my heart, went over a hanging bridge, traveled by myself, went to a big city and found my way there by myself, and every time i did i was thinking that my old self would had been so wrapped up in her fears, that she would have probably passed on this experiences, regretting it, but still unable to move forward. I am a better me, and it's all thanks to Him. I'm fearless because he gives me strength, even when i feel i don't have any...

How precious did that grace appear The hour I first believed
It still does.

My chains are gone I've been set free My God, my Savior has ransomed me And like a flood His mercy rains Unending love, Amazing grace
There was a big flood here last year, the first one I've seen up close. The only one i had the chance to, for normally floods were things i saw on TV happening to other people. I was humbled by how strong water can be, how it is almost impossible to contain. The thought of God's love being that powerful, that it is so strong, is more clear to me now after that. I can see how this love has washed away the chains i made for myself, the ones i was so comfortable in. He paid my price, and there was nothing i could have done to change his mind. Nothing.

The Lord has promised good to me His word my hope secures He will my shield and portion be As long as life endures
This is one of the parts where i struggle the most. I know He wants the best for me, but i have little faith, it doesn't take much for me to start worrying. I struggle to trust Him, as i struggled to trust my earthly father, who was never there for me, i tend to think this God will also have better things to do (missionaries dying for him in remote corners of the world, for example) than to spend any time listening to my prayers, that are as flawed as I am. My brain tells me they're not the same, my heart takes me down that road time and again... I understand in a rational way that He is my shield, i just sometimes don't feel it, and therefore falsely get to the conclusion that He is not there (feelings are so deceiving in themselves)...And the thought that i don't need anything but Him gets challenged every time i get a new catalog, or i start looking around me...And despite all these, He still loves me.

The earth shall soon dissolve like snow The sun forbear to shine But God, Who called me here below Will be forever mine Will be forever mine You are forever mine
Forever mine :) this is the best promise I've ever heard...

The song was written hundreds of years ago, but no matter what version of it i hear, it brings me to tears. Tears of sadness for the truth in it, and joy because I've finally found that never ending love i so longed for, all my life. He even gave me a taste of this love on Earth, by giving me a wonderful man to care and love, for me and my daughter. As he sleeps here by my side, i give thanks for all that he is, even the parts i don't like. For i wouldn't change him for all the gold in the world. My unconditional love call, answered in so many wonderful ways.
Now, all out of words, i can rest. Until tomorrow.

The art of doing nothing

Today i spent my day doing one of my favorite things in the world, nothing :) Yesterday we had Stephanie and her husband and kids over for supper, and i cooked "Dominican" or pretty close, considering the limitations i encounter in this foreign land...I went all out and made rice, red stewed beans and a pastelon de platano maduro that would have been a lot better if the plantains had been a bit more yellow, but that tasted as good as i remember my mom making it. They seemed to enjoy it, and i enjoyed the fellowship a whole lot more. And the cake- Stephanie makes really good cake, so she decided to bring one to, as she said, contribute to the meal. It was very good. I also made tostones, because Peter found some green plantains in a Market near our place, and we got a bunch, big as barahoneros- No idea how they made it here, because the ones i see in the supermarket normally are already starting to get pintos and are pretty small...But one should not question her blessings, for once, i have something i thought impossible to find here, and I'm happy- Now on to finding chicharron so i can make mofongo... Maybe i should import an anafe and a big paila and make it myself :)
Stephanie and I went scrap booking today, from 10 to 4, and that was nice too- i believe it is important for women to get together and just talk and be women, without guys around, specially if said guys are keeping the children (and have gone to a football game, something that doesn't really counts as one of my favorite things to do). Is not that we say or do anything that should be kept hidden, but there's an easiness of conversation when men are not around that i can't explain. I'm sure the same happens to them.
I worked in my "virtual scrap booking" and had a lot of fun talking and listening to other people talk about their lives, their families and what they do. I find incredibly interesting hearing about the same thing as seen by different people in so many ways. Like someone once said, each head holds a world. And i really like exploring.
My life these last few weeks has been rather normal, doing chores and all. I taught Lara we have a big mountain we got to climb (the stairs), jungles to cross (involves crawling under the living room table and over the couch, then jumping up and down) and balls to attend (we dance to Barbie's music), for we are dancing princesses in our spare time. Princesses that play the drums (oven handle, a chair and the cabinet) with our magic sticks (wooden spoons)... We also make funny animal sounds, and watch cartoons. I have such a hard job.
Lara's speech has improved so much in the last few months, she can weave stories and talk about her favorite things. And she's letting me do her hair, if i let her do mine- but I'm still not sure if i got a good deal there, she seems to enjoy pulling my hair more than combing it. I wish she was as good in Spanish as she is in English, though. She can say words, and repeats everything i say, and obviously understands what i tell her- but still her answers are in English. I keep trying, i know someday something will click and she'll speak back to me in my language.
I can't believe I've been here almost two years... It seems like yesterday that we boarded that plane with our kid and dog, to come to a place i knew only from what Peter had told me. And now i call it my own. I like this little city, with its friendly people (except that girl that works in Subway- you need to chill or get a real job, soon) and dog loving mail carriers. The only thing i wish is for my family to visit me, i want to show them how beautiful this country can be, that there's more to this place than crowded streets. Have them watch how wheat waves like water in the breeze. Or fields full of sunflowers as far as i can see. Or how a tree's leaves seem to catch fire this time of the year, and how still everything looks under the cover of the snow. I wish i could show them what i see, and how it makes me feel. My mom says I've always being into scenery, that one time i made a friend of hers stop in the middle of nowhere to see the mountains, and the best times i remember when i was little were spent watching the ocean and collecting maqueys with my aunt Tania... If being a grown up means losing that, then I'm in trouble, because no matter how old i get, i still have to pause, sit and enjoy. I hope Lara joins me in doing nothing someday. I could give her some lessons...Maybe we should start classes tomorrow :)

Planning a garden

The past few months have been so crazy... I turned 32 in August, went to New York for the first time and absolutely loved it, and decided to plan and build a garden. If you've ever been to my house, you know how big a yard we have. A sea of green, with nothing special- not what you'd expect of someone like me, that loves color and variety...It's just green and boring. Very green. Too green...So I started dreaming, and when I dream, it usually means I'll be making plans, and lists, and drawings and lots and lots of research. For I am a nerd, and I can't find the way to dream like a regular person, just looking up and relaxing, I need charts and lists. Other people need chocolate or coffee to start their brainstorming, I need research and plans, and lots and lots of drawings.
August came and went in a flash this year. My birthday was uneventful, spent with friends, with nothing special, just that I'm older. I'm still waiting for that knowledge I'm supposed to get as I grow older... So far all I've learned since I am in my thirties is that I need a better haircut and exercise.
I could have learned that without the age gain, if you ask me- but years go by, relentless.
This year Peter decided to give me two presents, a piece of jewelry- bless his soul-, and a trip to NYC to visit my friends. I went there the last week of August, and had a blast. I discovered that I actually like big cities, specially the ones you can see so many museums and parks. There's even tame squirrels! It was fun to do something more adventurous for a change, other than checking for the contents of Lara's training pants (that's pretty adventurous, believe me- you never know if you'll find anything, you go hoping you won't, and then...HELLO!) and I got to hang out with some people I knew, but haven't had the chance to really spend time with. It is so nice to discover you really like people. Not just that you enjoy spending time with them, but that you really like how they are, and that you have more in common than you thought you had.
It seems to me that this trip was more about finding and discovering myself than about discovering a new city. I had to go, to prove to myself that I can do things like that, that I can be brave enough. I tend to doubt and be my worst critic, most of the time. I also discovered how much I'd love to be a photographer...Well, i guess i just re-discovered it. I remember reading National Geographic when I was little, and thinking how cool it would be to travel the world, taking pictures. I used to day dream about it all the time- could even see my name under the picture in the magazine. But all the real photographers I knew, only took pictures of people, so I thought it was impossible for me to do something like that, that it was reserved for American men. I no longer want my pictures in a magazine, but I still like taking pictures as much as I did when i was little. And I'd like to go to school and learn the way to become one. Who knows, maybe I could publish my own book someday.
September has gone fine so far, Breathe groups started, I caught a bad cold. And started planning my garden. It's going to be so pretty when we're done! or so I hope. It's being surprising how my training in color and design can be applied to living things, how those lectures about the importance of having a balanced design have helped me to draw plans for this project. I may never work on graphic design, but I'm sure using its concepts.
Lara's room is on its way out of the ugliness, thanks to our friend Kelly, who has been working so hard there for the last three days. I went in yesterday and i couldn't believe it was the same place. Now on to the mural. I want something special, something that my daughter can see and think, my mother loves me so much she wants me to have this, and be happy. Or maybe that I can see and think I love her so much, i really want her to like it and be happy. I think it's going to have princesses and castles, things Lara seems to like a lot. We'll see, got to work with my little client, and plan and draw a lot. I want it to be her own special place, so I'll be asking her every step of the way.
I can't wait for all my projects to be done, so i can sit and relax... Or maybe not, I'll probably find another thing to dream about when I'm done. One thing is certain, I'll have lots of pictures to share. That's for sure.

Being "normal"

It's being hunting me for weeks how I've been forgetting to be my own kind of normal, in my fear that I'll never be American enough, or Dominican enough to live in American soil, for that matter... It's hard for me to live so far away from everything i knew, starting over in a place where i stand out like a sore thumb, no matter where i go. Not that it isn't the story of my life- I've never felt that i fit in, not even when i lived in my hometown. It's been a struggle all my life, to try this "normal" costume- for i don't even know what normal looks like... It seems like every time i start getting good at it, it changes to something else.
I remember when i first realized i was far from "normal"- I was in school, probably first grade, and i noticed how kids had a dad that came to look for them to take them home. My dad never did that. He would have caused such a big problem coming in, even if he had wanted to do so, for you see, in my country he is a famous person, and wherever he goes, he's recognized and followed around... I remember hoping for a normal dad, one that i would see more than a few times a month, one that would take me out to have ice cream, without people staring at him.
My mom was, in her own way, famous too- I've never met anyone in my country that didn't at least know her a little bit. And from these two very outgoing people i came, my shy self a stark contrast to their ways. To top it off, people always assumed that if they were my parents, then i must be pretty outgoing, right? so i started trying to fit their idea of how a normal me should be. I did such a good job doing it, that some of my friends will probably be very surprised to know how shy i really am, and how i would push myself to stop it. I did inherit my parents easiness to make friends, and some of their traits are in me, but i still enjoy being by myself, with a book in some quiet place. And it is still hard to talk to strangers. No matter how old i am, the same thought crosses my mind, every time: they won't like me. Not if they'd like me, or how much they'd like me, but a nagging certainty that somehow they won't. And i don't even know why, for 9 out of ten times, people does- but it is still there.
When i lived in the Dominican Republic, this feeling wasn't as bad, because i could find common points of interest with the people i met, common backgrounds, something... But here, it seems like the differences that i was aware of (or my craziness) show even more than usual. I remember one time sitting in a room full of other women, feeling so lonely because not one of them could understand why i don't care if they come to my house without calling. Or if they keep their shoes on when they come over. Or the fact that i endlessly look for ways to make my food taste more "Dominican", whatever that means... I'm always afraid of speaking up, of breaking an unspoken rule, of being me. And i miss me. I miss the woman i became growing up in a tight family circle made up of women, with my half brother and half sisters added sometimes, a me that wasn't afraid to embrace the fact that as hard as i tried, i enjoyed being by myself the most, lost in a book, imagining the life i didn't have through it.
I miss dancing with other people, i miss not being the only dark person in the room, i miss painting and drawing for my own enjoyment, i miss speaking my language with people that answer back. And i miss my friends. That's what i miss the most. Friends. The ones that take time to make, the ones that now live so far away, i never hear from them unless i look at facebook. I miss my mom, and our Saturdays at the mall. I miss Iliana, and all the crazy conversations we've had along these years we've known each other. I miss just watching my grandma smile when her favorite character on TV is doing well, and hearing her talking about the national lottery as if she had some sort of connection there, and she always knows when she's about to win. I miss my aunts and my cousins, and the lazy afternoons just drinking coffee and talking about nothing and all at the same time.
Peter tries to help me feel welcome here, and God knows there's plenty of people that work hard on that as well, and that love me as much as my family in the DR does, but it is still hard. Very hard. I go back to grade school, when i used to wish i was blond and pretty like my mom. Now i want to be more like the people here, so i can blend in and be finally "normal", but at the same time i like my dark features, my jet black hair, my crazy eyebrows, my shape (i seem to be more curvaceous than other people here too, and being this fat just makes it worse).
I wish i could bring other Dominicans here. Maybe i could then be normal among them. Whatever that is.

Snow day!

My Raspberry Road page :)

There's a wonderful Scrapbooking site and store named Raspberry Road Designs. The stuff they have is the prettiest i've seen on the internet, I just love it :) They have a challenge for this month, that involves making your own version of a page made with a template they provide, and things you've gotten either from the store or from the big amount of freebies Susan gives away. When i saw it, i thought it would be nice to post something, just for the fun of it - normally i just keep them in my computer for my own enjoyment. Hope you like my page :)
Credits:
Papers, Bubby Collection Freebie
Elements: Template 5, Bubby collection freebie, Bubblelicious collection freebie
Alpha: Grungy Alpha freebie, #2: Birthday Brights Collection freebie.
Everything from Raspberry Roads :)

Lara's Two Years old!!!!

My daughter is two years old now. Definitively not a baby anymore. She is her own self, and a very strong self if you ask me, her favorite phrase is "I got it"- which means, stop trying to help me mom, i'm fine doing it by myself. Today she insisted on making her bed :) but she's still resisting potty training. It's funny how someone so small already shows all the crazy contradictions that we all share, how even on her own small way, she tries like us to do the best she can, and conquer her fears in the process. She still needs me a lot, i know, but i miss the little baby that i used to hold just to watch her sleep, and at the same time, i don't miss that time anymore. I like this little girl a lot, with her spunky personality, and her spanglish :) i love how she says "i love you too mammie" when i put her on time out (happens at least once a day) and her determination to do things by herself, including going up and down the stairs and putting her shoes on (and she can, even the ones with zippers)...I love how she tells Peter "Daddy that's funny" when he makes a silly face, and how she tells him that he is "cute"...Things that a baby can't do. I haven't counted how many words she can say, because i don't think that would be as important as just listening to what she has to say. And my little free thinker has a lot to say, it seems, lol. Specially when she doesn't get what she wants :)
Who is this new Lara? well, she loves playing with her ball, and going out to touch the snow. She likes "helping" in the kitchen (she stands on a chair and watches me cook) and cleaning up (she's actually really good at it, i spray some cleaner on the surfaces, and she wipes it out with a cloth- sometimes asking for more if she can't get rid of everything) and she picks up garbage and throws it in the can. She's a girly girl that doesn't like when her shoes are dirty, or her hands. She loves books, and this week's favorite is Red Fish Blue Fish, but it changes every week- it's cute to see her sit down and "read" (she surprised me by recognicing the letters P, A and C- i guess watching Sesame Street every day at 9, and WordWorld at 2 (her favorites) really teaches them stuff). She loves to wear her pretty dresses, and playing with puzzles, coloring books and play-doh. She's also learned to pedal forward in the trycicle, and counts from 1 to 10 (skipping some numbers sometimes, both in English and Spanish- and her favorite number is 3 for some reason)... As i said, not a baby anymore. She likes taking baths and brushing her teeth too. And Slides :) I could go for hours! she's so active...
I really love my little girl :) Happy Birthday Lara!

February 2009 :)

Life has changed so much for us in just one year, that it's almost impossible for me to believe that just over a year ago, we had another life, in another town, in another country. It seems like ages since we came here, and everything was so weird to me, from the streets to the food, everything seemed to me different and overwhelming at times... It's funny how in just a year, streets that looked all the same to me, now have names in my mind. How the stores that seemed so big, now are the "normal" I'm used to. How a church that was so intimidating at first, where everyone seemed a stranger, is now a room full of friendly faces, faces that have a name, faces that i have started to recognize as friends. So many things have changed, that it's easy to forget that there was a time when i went out in the middle of December wearing nothing but a tank top and jeans, and still got warm anyway, or that i could get okras any time i wanted, or buy papayas and avocados that weighted almost a pound...That time seems too remote to me, so far away that it's sometimes idealized. Yesterday i realized that it's being about a year since the last time i saw a roach scatter away when i turn the kitchen light on...And that the only ants you see here, live in the garden, not on my walls... And the only rodents I've seen are squirrels and a few rabbits... It's funny how both places have good and bad things, but somehow, when you are away, the good things seem to grow in size, while the bad ones get behind them and disappear in the shadows. I like Fargo a lot, when i think of home, it's this city that comes to mind. I love the "little town" feeling you get when walking down Broadway, and all the pretty sights. I love that there are parks everywhere, and how friendly people is. I love the train, I've come to expect its horn during the day, i love the sounds and love waving at the engine driver as it goes by... I love sunsets here, how they linger as if they were going to last forever...I love so many things and people in this place, Linsey, Bart, Stephanie and her family, Micah and Kim, Andy, just to name a few, that i can't imagine ever leaving- I'd miss it too much.
This month has been very interesting for me, in the sense that I've taken steps to get to know more people, instead of complaining that i miss my former life, I've decided to face forward and start really living here. I've realized that even if God doesn't tell me what my purpose here is, i still can be fruitful, as long as i keep Him by my side... I've decided to embrace the talents He's given me, and enjoy them, instead of wishing i had been given something else in their place. I've decided to enjoy me, and my family, no matter the circumstances were are to deal with. I want my daughter to remember me as someone that obeyed God, and that loved Him more than anything in this world... A woman that can show through the fruit of her spirit, that she He is all she'll ever need. And don't take me wrong, I'll still be my old sinful self, but I'll strive to be better each day- One step at a time.
I'm so thankful for friends and family, they've been so supportive of us and our journey here. I love you all so much! and i love my husband, more than he'll ever know, just for being him, and for standing by my side, even when i don't want him to... Thanks for loving me when i believed that i didn't deserve to be loved, or when i wasn't acting towards you with the love that you deserve...I promise to do a better job tomorrow.
I've grown so much since i came here...And there's still a lot more to go. Pray for me :)
Love,
Julie

The house on 14th Street South

Yes, you guessed it right, we took the plunge and went up and bought ourselves a house :) this is how it happened:
In November, we talked about finding a place next spring, and since we had no idea what we were looking for, decided to start looking around...And found "it" :) the house we wanted, in our price range, in a neighborhood with mature trees and close to everything. We got pretty excited, and decided to make an offer right away... And we bought it. It's pretty big, 4 bedrooms, 1 and a half bathrooms, finished basement, garage. We don't have enough furniture for it yet, though. I'm working on it, with my "project living room" (we agreed on taking a room at a time, it's easier and less costly), and i have a pretty good idea of how it's going to look once I'm finished...I'll post pictures when i finish, right now it's just a whole mess of boxes and a lonely couch. It's starting to feel like home in it :) for the first few weeks, it was kind of hard to believe that this is our house and that i can, in theory, do whatever i want in it... I love old houses, and this one, built in 1916, it's full of details that makes it unique, like the oak trim and floors, the beautiful windows and staircase, etc. I can't wait to plant a garden outside :) now we have a back yard, a front yard and side yards (it's a corner lot, so poor Peter has been shoveling snow like crazy this winter, thought i make his life easier by planting flowers instead of having all that expanse of grass to cut next season... We'll fence it too sometime, just a small white picket fence :) Isn't it fun to get your own corner in the American dream? I'm so excited i don't know how I'm going to contain myself until spring, LOL

I'm back :)

I have been so busy lately, that i haven't been able to write on my blog :) so what I'll do is divide this entry in two, one for the month of October, the other for the month of November (believe me, there's a lot to tell from both months).
#1. October:
At the end of August I started looking for flights to the DR...That took me a lot of time, because everything i found was over the 1000 Dollars we said was the most we'd pay for a ticket there... I was going alone with Lara, Peter having recently started a new job, couldn't come, so i was looking for flights that wouldn't take the whole day to get there, or that would stay overnight or anything like that. Those are the cheapest ones :)...Finally, one night at Linsey and Bart's, i found it, booked it, and it was arranged that I'd go to Santiago for 3 weeks, then spend the weekend with my friends the Ernests in Tampa. And all for just over 700 Dollars. I found it almost in the middle of September. It was very important for me that i got there on the first of October, or before that, because my grandma's birthday was the second, so i was very happy with the arrangements. Very nervous, but happy. This was going to be the first time for me traveling alone through various cities, and i was going to do it with a toddler...You can imagine how nervous i was, and every single person i talked to would do that little something people do with their noses when they think you're crazy for doing a certain thing...Like a shrug of the nose, that i don't think anyone realizes, but that if you're observant, you'll see it. For example, when i told my friends i was going to date a guy i met over the internet, there it was (except for Nadia, but she knows I'm weird, so i guess she figured a geek like me wouldn't do it any different than that), or when i told them after a few years that i was going to marry that same guy, and move to Jarabacoa, being a city person and all that (i even got it from my family that time, lol)...You know, that little wrinkling of the nose that people get when they don't want to hurt your feelings, but they are thinking, "you're nuts for doing that"...Well, i saw it a lot, specially from people with children. It would go like this: I'd say, "I'm going to the DR next month", and they'd say "Nice, is Peter coming too?" and when i said no, they'll say "oh, you're going alone with Lara?", and then the wrinkle. I got lots of advice from very well intentioned people, and i followed each and every one of them, except the part about the Benadryl, i just couldn't get myself to medicate my baby like that, and everything went well, she cried for the first few minutes (to me it was like centuries) then fell asleep until we got there, for the most part. On one flight she made a friend and spent the whole flight, 2 hours, passing the magazines and the emergency instructions to him. Back and forth, over and over again. And he was smiling, the whole time. I think i believe in flight angels now, that was the last flight, from Miami to Santiago, and she just wanted to go home, nothing was working until this grandpa (he told me he had two little grand kids, both boys) started playing with her. God bless him, that's all I'm going to say :)
The day we left started early, in fact you could say it started the day before, because since my flight was leaving Minneapolis on the 1st at 6am, we left Fargo after Peter was done from work, and spent the night at a friend's house. I was nervous, but everything went very well. We got to the DR at about 7:30 PM (we had to stay in the Miami airport for 5 hours in between flights, Lara and I probably walked around it 3 times, because she was bored and just for fun, i guess). My mom, my aunt, my cousin Heidy and her son were waiting for us. I was so tired! the flight had been loud and crazy (the poor flight attendants! there was people shouting and laughing loudly, some of them refused to put their seat belts on, etc. It made me respect their work, it is hard to be that nice when you want to hit them over the head with a shoe, I'm guessing, or maybe that was just me... Those two guys were so nice and polite, i think they deserve a raise) and Lara was reaching the end of her rope as well. When my mom tried to hold her, she freaked out, and wouldn't let anyone touch her. It was weird to come back, to see the things i was used to and didn't notice before, like the driving (i almost died of a heart attack a couple times while my cousin was driving us to the city, you got to see it to understand it). We got to my grandma's and stayed there for the night, and a few other nights after that, but it was very hot and Lara kept screaming at night, so i decided to go to my aunt Sandra's house, to see if we'd have more luck sleeping there. And she did sleep better there, so we stayed.
The day after we got there, my aunts threw my grandma a party, with food, soda and a cake, like a little girl :) and she enjoyed every second of it, she even danced around (she just turned 83, but still moves about quite a bit). Lara discovered Kipes, a sort of meat and spices, cracked wheat combination that it's formed into an almond shape and filled with more meat then fried, so on every picture she has one in her mouth. And it's not the same one. She ate at least 4 before i noticed and took them away from her reach, and then other people gave her two more...I thought she'd get sick, but she was perfectly fine the next day. And she had cake. You can tell she's Peter's daughter alright.
The next few days were spent just socializing with my aunts and spending time with my grandma, and Lara got more comfortable and started to reach out to them. By the second week she would cry when my mom left the room...It was fun to see them interact, and get to know each other, a hint of the relationship they'll share in the future...She felt right at home with them, and i believe she knows they're family, for the way she connected with them.
One of the weeks i went to Santo Domingo, to visit my friend Iliana, and to see my sisters, brother and father. From the sisters i only saw one (apparently the other one was too busy), Lara loved Tony at first sight, and my dad made a thousand excuses and promises, which is normal to him, and then never showed up. I feel so sorry for him, he has no idea the joy that it is to be close to people. I'll pray for him, that he finds himself and God. It's funny how that doesn't hurt anymore, how i can forgive him like that - I guess God has been working in me, even without me knowing it. I had a great time, Lara enjoyed Iliana a lot :) she'd follow her around from a distance, real funny to watch. She also had the chance to play with Jael, her cousin (she's 3).
After that, i went to La Vega, to deliver something that Bart had sent with me, met up with Ricardo and his wife, and spent the afternoon with them. I took pictures, but they were lost when Peter put them in a CD in Tampa (another story- i cried so hard for losing them)...From there i went to Jarabacoa, and stayed a couple days with the Petersons, they have a cute little boy named Jeremiah, who would follow Lara around :)...It was nice to see all of them again, and the school, but it was weird to be there after almost a year, and know that i was no longer a part of them. Of course i had Gilberto's chicken, there was no way I'd travel so far and not go and eat it! After a couple days there i went back to Santiago, and spent the next week and a half there, until i left to Tampa. It was a good trip, weird in the sense that it was different for me to come visit, when i was used to being part of the country, weird that now, when i think of home, i think of Fargo. Made me surprised that in just over ten months i had left the country that saw me grow up, to come live here, and to feel it as my home, to miss it after a couple days...It just tells you how much fond of this city I've become, how it grows on you...
When i had to leave, my mom took me to the airport, but there were no tears, somehow we managed not to cry...My flight there was OK, with Lara repeating her 5-minute-cry-then-sleep routine, up until we got to Miami airport (not my favorite one, you got to run from one corner to the other to get your luggage and then find your gate, which happens to be on the same corner you arrived at), then another hour wait, then Tampa. But there was a surprise there, Peter had asked his boss to give him Friday and Monday off, so i got to see my sweetie a little sooner than i thought.
We spent Thursday night, Friday, Saturday and Sunday there (went to a museum in Orlando for free- their computer was having problems, so in we went without paying, it was very cool, it's an upside down house, complete with palm trees hanging...Sort of like the kind of museum you dream about when you're 5, where you can touch everything and run around and not get tired. I'm so coming back there sometime :), then on Sunday we went to Disney. We thought we'd get three people free - Colby knows a guy that works there - and then split the cost of the rest of the tickets, but when we got to the door, there was another employee there that gave us two more tickets, so we ended up going to Disney for free too. We spent the day running around Epcot, then went to Magic Kingdom, then back to Epcot again. It was a lot of fun. We want to come back next year for a longer time so we can see the other parks) We came back to Fargo, and back to reality, the day after that.

#2. November:
This month started as any other months, specially when you've been away for so long as I'd have. Doing laundry :), fixing around the house, checking for phone calls i needed to make, getting ready for Lara's check up appointment, etc. Nothing out of the ordinary. I eased into my daily routine faster and easier than i thought, and so did Lara. I thought she'd have a hard time getting used to sleeping by herself again, but she seemed to be relieved that she was back home at last. Never cried at night again, not even the first night.
Peter and I had talked before i went down that we wanted to buy a house in the spring, when our rental agreement was due. We decided to start looking around, just to get a feeling of the kind of house we wanted and stuff, and start the process and all that, so we went to a Realtor he likes (the same one that got him his first house). When they did his credit report it showed a few mistakes, that we had to wait to have erased...We kept looking around and searching on the internet, looking for houses in our range (now we knew more or less what we wanted, a house with some character, around this area, in good condition, and with enough storage). To make the story short, after a couple weeks i managed to come across a property listed back in August that i hadn't seen before. When i saw the pictures for it, i thought it looked promising, so i saved the number so we could go see it. I even drew 2 stars next to it. Peter told the Realtor lady, who made some calls, and we went to see it on Monday. My first reaction upon entering was WOW :) it's not perfect, but it's just what we're looking for! Peter was disappointed it didn't have a fireplace, but quickly perked up when he saw the finished basement...In all the houses we had seen so far, the basement was so low, it was hard for Peter to move around, and not hit his head, but this one was high enough for him to be comfortable, and it had a finished bathroom! we went to see another house, a little bit cheaper, that didn't measure up (it was hard after seeing the first one, i guess), we realized that whatever money we saved by buying the house, was going to go to replacing the old stuff in it (like the 60's pink carpet, and the neon blue bathroom tiles), so we talked about it and decided we wanted to make an offer on the one we liked. And we got it :) The closing date is December 12, and we are so excited that we drive by every time we go out (it's only 5 blocks from here)... I don't have any pictures, but as soon as i take them, i'll show it off. It's my first house in the USA! and i love it.
I love this season, with its colors and the cold :) I like the clothes you wear and the things you can do. I like watching the leaves, and Lara playing with them...I didn't know a place could change so much in such a little time, as i've seen our street change. It's like living in four different places at once :)
I've met so many people here, that i don't feel like an outsider anymore. We went to a museum in Moorhead that had a cultural thing they call "Pangea", it showcases the different foreign cultures that live here, showing their traditions and food so we all can see it. I wrote my phone number so i can help with it next year, who knows, there might be another Dominican here somewhere, maybe we could get together and make sancocho sometime...It would be nice to connect with Spanish speakers in the area too, so Lara can hear conversations in Spanish more often. I'll wait and see.
I didn't join the dancing classes this year, my trip took three weeks, they'd be too advanced for me by now. I want to start exercising in the YMCA, though. I've become too lazy :P
Anyway, it's enough for now. I'll keep you guys posted about any developments :)
Love,
Julie

New Things about me you might not know...

I went to a MOPS meeting today, for the first time... When i woke up this morning, i though it was the worst idea I've ever had. What was i going to do, behave or say in a room full of women that are so different culturally from me?? I wrestled with the thought all the way there, and if i had been by myself, I'd probably have turned around. But Peter was there, and as usual, pushed me towards my own good, even when i resist it. I had a lot of fun, and i met lots of new people, and realized that even though i wasn't born in this country, i can relate to people here just fine...And that i love Peter so much for pushing me to see that...
The past few weeks and month have been really crazy, with Peter losing his job, staying home for a month looking for another one, then getting hired by a new company, just to be offered his old job with a pay increase...He didn't take it (well, not completely, he now works for both companies- Full time on one, then monitors from his computer a couple hours at night). As for me, I've been adapting, little by little, but moving forward nonetheless...It helps that i like it here. Fargo is a city full of great things to do, and friendly people. We might not have the biggest buildings, but what we lack on height we have on friendliness. I find people willing to help me everywhere i go, and going to parks and riding the bus always provides the joy of talking to different people, and learning about the different cultures that make this area. I remember reading the inscription on the Dollar bill, i think it is "Et pluribus unum" or something like that, but i didn't fully understand what it would be for a nation to be "from many, one" until i got here...So many nationalities, so many different cultures and ways of living, living together, calling themselves Americans... I wish people in my country took as much pride in their flag and their country as the people I've met here. I have a friend that doesn't like the USA, to the extent of never coming here to visit. She lives in Europe, in Italy. I don't think she has ever had the chance to meet the people, just has read what the papers have to say (that sometimes is far from accurate) and has decided to believe it. Living here, i can say that nothing she ever told me is true, I've found plenty of good things about this country, so many, that i have actually decided to in its due time, become an American too. I love how organized things are here, how things work, when you have lived in a country where fixing a road takes 2-3 years, this is refreshing. People complain a lot here, about politics, the economy, traffic, the weather, etc- They might be insensible to the great things that happen here, just because they've always been around them. It's like when you walk into a store with a new smell in it, the people that work there can't feel it anymore, but since i just came in, it's really intense for me...I'm hoping that never fades, and that i learn to continue to recognize the many blessings that God has in this country, i wouldn't move anywhere else in the world, i might go visit, but i simply love it here. I really do.
Next month I'll try yet another adventure, going BY MYSELF to the DR...With Lara. Prayers would be appreciated. Ideas of how to handle a cranky toddler during a two hour flight without a movie, accepted too.
Love,
Julie
Ps. I'll keep you guys posted for any new developments, I'm planning on taking a dance class this fall...Lots of funny pictures might be taken (i have two left feet, specially before i get my period...The worst case of PMS I've ever seen, lol)

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The treatments are over!

I'm finally home, after so many days traveling back and forth between Rochester MN and Fargo... We have been traveling to the Mayo clinic, for Peter's infusions- He has a kidney condition, and they are treating him with an inmuno-depressant for the past month, and several times before that... It was so tiring to go there every week! We'd leave Lara with the grandparents and then drive for the longest time to get there (it seems longer to me, because i came from an island that you can cross side to side in just over 4- 5 hours) and then we'd stay in our cousin's house, so we could go on Monday mornings to get Peter "connected". I'm so glad this is the last one, it's hard for me to see him lay in bed with stuff attached to his veins. He's a strong guy, and never complains, not even when a nurse turned him into a pin cushion (she poked him three times in different places- we guess she doesn't do IVs very often). Now i can come back home and concentrate in making it look like i live here. We still have boxes with books on the corners, and most of my clothes are in a suitcase. Peter's clothes are on a table in the closet room, because our real closet it's so small, we can't fit anything in it, and that's why we're moving Lara to the smaller room, and we are moving our stuff into the room next to the kitchen.
I want to paint her room a nice shade of either sky blue or green, because I've decided to decorate it with the Sesame street characters, and we're getting a really cute toddler bed we saw in Walmart :) It's time for her to have a bed she can climb to by herself. And it works for all of us, because she doesn't need so much space for her clothes. I think it's going to look really pretty. I'll post a picture when I'm done.
It's nice to be able to relax at home, and think about the things we'll do here to make it more "homey"... Right now, everything it's arranged in a functional way, with no personality whatsoever, but in the next months, I'll start changing that- i want to do some art (haven't decide if photos or paintings) for my walls and i want to renovate the china hutch that Linsey gave us. As i said, I'll post pictures when I'm done.
My friend Jason from Chicago was here this past week :) it's been fun to walk around the city and show him everything that this city has to offer. Makes me realize how much Fargo has become my home, and how used i am to the pace here now... I like specially to go around in the MAT buses, just for fun- you get to meet really interesting people there, and it's very cheap. And i'm getting used to Libraries where you can find virtually every book you want :) but i need to make a list of the books i want to read, i get lost with so many, LOL.
There's so many things around here that were so strange for me when i got here, that now are so normal that i find myself wondering what happened when i don't see them. One of them it's the squirrels- there's at least 50 between my block and the park, in different sizes, i think they are very cute to me, but i'm guessing that if you have a garden, they might not seem so cute then. Another one is the train, that i hear more than i see, but that it's like a background music for me. People in bikes are next in my list- you don't see adults riding bikes in my country, unless they're in a club or something, here everyone seems to own a bike, and use it. The police lady that puts the tickets on cars that stay too long on the street (she seems to enjoy her job so much- i saw her put three tickets with the biggest smile in her face)- The mail carriers (a guy for us, but sometimes a woman- i guess he needs days off too)- The insane amount of pure junk mail we get EVERY DAY, except Sundays- The huge amount of food they serve in restaurants (a child's portion is bigger than what i eat- i get lots of leftovers)- The Alien restaurants (that poor guy in a suit when it's almost 90 degrees out, it breaks my heart) and the people that complain about everything ... Sometimes i feel like telling them to go and live in my country for a while, were the politicians are crazy, people drive any way they like, teenagers can legally drink (and they do, a lot), gas is twice as expensive as it is here- but people make three times less money than the lowest income household here on average-, there's blackouts every day, doctors go on strike almost every week, water has to be bought because if you drink from the tap you might get REALLY sick, and there's no real social security, etc.- but everyone is happy, and they think americans are the luckiest people on Earth :) We humans are a funny kind, the more we have, the more we want.
There are so many things about this country that i love, that i don't understand when people complain about it. I wish most of the people in my country were so proud of our land as to decorate their houses with flags, like they do here (i think it's called "americana"), and that things were as organized as they are here, but we still have a lot to learn there (or they have, as i start feeling more part of this country as time goes by).
Anyway, it's being a crazy week, with the traveling, going to the Valley Fair (FUN! i was too scared most of the time, but next time i go, i want to ride all of them- well, maybe not the one that you sit and they pull you and let you go, it's like 13 stories high!), having people over and getting used to being home again.
I can't wait to start settling down. Again :)

More of me

A friend of mine once sent me an email about how people you meet have a reason to be in your life at that specific moment and time. There's people that stay in your life for just a little time, and then they go, when you have learned what you needed to learn from each other... but there's another kind of friend, that no matter how long it's been since you last talked, or how much your life or circumstances have changed, they keep coming up to you, over and over again, and every time, it's like the old times. I'm so grateful to God for the wonderful many friends he's blessed me with throughout the years, friends that love me sincerely and that i love, friends that live far away, but are close at heart. These last few months, being so far from family and friends, this is the only mean of communication i have, that it's free of charge :), and it's always a pleasure to find people i care for, that i haven't talked to in a while, and learn about their lives. This week, two of my best friends, one from school, the other one from college, wrote. It's funny how something so simple as to find out that your friends both had babies, one in Italy, the other one in Bulgaria, and read about how different their lives have become, see baby pictures, and realize that even though we're far apart, we still think the same way, and we have chosen similar paths, makes one happy. We are still the same, yet different, and that makes me feel good. Very good.
Today i had the courage to go out of my "comfort zone" and went to explore the city, alone. Everything seems so different to me here, so organized. I have gotten used to having people ask me how to make tacos (i have no idea, I'm not Mexican- no offense, but there's more countries down there besides them, we make rice and beans, and pork, and beef- similar to southern cooking, but not spicy), I'm learning to use Dollars (they still don't seem real to me), to trust the police (if you are from Santo Domingo, you know what i mean- they're not bad, but it's better for you if they are not too close), to the health system here (complicated, if you ask me- and the nurses do most of the work too, unless you are really sick), to the notion that practically no one knows where the Dominican Republic is (I've thought about keeping a map in my purse), and to have people think that I'm Hindu, specially old ladies (i don't know why)... And the list goes on and on. Don't think I'm having a hard time, oh no- I'm having fun. I went to see my favorite painters in Minneapolis, and almost cried- I went camping, the American way, with air conditioning and cable TV, i sat by a lake to watch the 4Th of July's fireworks (beautiful, by the way- it's called Leech Lake, in Walker MN) and went to see a parade earlier that same day. I got in a lake up to my knees (the water was warm, not freezing, that's for the people that say that it's always cold up here), i drive from town to town (but only to the supermarket in the city, i get stressed with so many people around me). I can find my way around in Cashwise, Walmart and Target (when you have a kid, you visit them quite often)...I even know which bus to take to go there (Peter says that's easy, considering i used to go around in public transportation that doesn't have a map and that stops everywhere, full of people to over capacity, when i lived in Santo Domingo). I've even made some new friends here, people it's so friendly, and I'm starting to feel at home. I like this city a lot, there's a lot to do and a lot to see :) next month, when we don't have to go back to Rochester for Peter's treatment, i want to go to watch a play, or two. And maybe go dancing (i heard there's some salsa dancing downtown- maybe we should give it a try, if i can get the grandparents to keep the baby sometime, that is)
Well, anyway, enough with my chatter, until next time,
Hugs,
Julia

Father's day is over, at last. We had the family over, Grandpa and Grandma Schott, Andy, Micah, aunt Myrna, another aunt i can't remember her name, her husband and two more cousins... The house was full of people for the first time. I enjoyed every minute, but I'm glad is over, I'm sooooo tired :) I've never seen so much food either, the Schotts really know how to P-A-R-T-Y, LOL, so we had BBQ ribs, Bratworstz and plenty of corn in the cob and potato casserole. It was a really fun day, and everyone enjoyed Lara a lot. We really need more chairs, though.
I've been looking around for fun Elmo furniture and stuff for Lara's new toddler room (one I'm planning, now that my baby is getting too big for a nursery), and that's fun. Not finding anything under 80 dollars anywhere, not fun... Can you believe that it would be cheaper to fix our bedroom than to buy toddler furniture??? I'm guessing that crazy parents spend more money than other people. I'll keep looking, i know somewhere there's someone whose kid has outgrown the stuff i want, that it's willing to part from it at a reasonable price (i can dream, can't i?)
We also joined the YMCA this week, and as of this next week I'll start exercising regularly (Peter's going to make me, not my choice- but i know it's for my own good, so I'll do it) I might need to get some guidance though, i haven't had a workout or anything like it since i learned i was pregnant...So wish me luck. And now back to Craigslist to keep looking for the Elmo stuff. For the 12th time.
Ps. I joined another art class :) i'm so happy!

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The art class

It's official, I'm taking an art class... After years and years of thinking about it, and deciding not to for one way or another (always thought i wasn't good enough - that even though i like drawing, since I'm rather more of a cartoon drawing person, i didn't qualify as an artist- but there's a very good museum close, and i think I've fallen in love with the beauty here, because i long to be be able to paint it, so i got myself into a "plein air" class :) I've never been out in the open with people i don't know, in a different language, but i though it might be fun to try. What can be wrong, as long as i don't wear white, I'm safe from the buffalo flies, they said (i don't even know what the heck they are- but if i see anything flying towards me, I'm going to run. And scream. Like a girl) I get more and more nervous as the weekend approaches, it's been years since i took a class with a real teacher, and a real artist, and my girl awkwardness comes out again... I've been having thoughts i thought i ditched back when i was a teenager, but that somehow have come back out in the open in the past few days... What if they don't like me? what if they just tell me to pack and go, for i am the worst pupil they ever had?? what if... You name it. It can all be made into one word: FEAR. Fear to the unknown that lays ahead, fear to being less that the perfect standard that i have imposed to myself, i can't remember when or how... Why do i tend to judge myself more severely than i would other people??? I don't know, and i probably would never know. But I'm working on it, and by the grace of God, who gives me the strength that i lack to overcome my demons of pure and unadulterated fear, I'm being bolder now that I've been in years of being me. Not just the shadow under my parent's names, ME.
For those who know who i am, and who my parents are, they'll understand what i mean. For those who don't, I'll just say that both my parents are very talented people, both in their own personal way, but way more outgoing that their shy offspring. My father's famous in my country, a folk singer- my mother's famous in her own way, I've never been to a place (except here, of course) where they didn't know who she was. Both of them can sing, so people expected me to as well... Maybe that's why i don't. I was in every singing group there was in my school, and i can't sing a note. They just wouldn't give up, i guess. It was impossible that i couldn't, that i was different. And that's where my problem with my self image started. I wanted so desperately to be like them, that i forgot to be me, and got frustrated when i couldn't live up to the standards I had made in the first place. I've worked through it my whole life, and i think I'm getting better at it as i grow older, learning to enjoy ME, the person that God created, not the image i had of me.
When i moved here last year, i didn't think my doubts about myself would resurface. I'm a new mother, too busy working around the house and tending a toddler to have time to think about herself, right? well, i was wrong. Now that I'm here, forced to be ME by myself, I've learned that i do share some traits with my parents, that i can be friendly and warm like my mother, and funny like my father, two things i was too busy to recognize in my quest to be their perfect daughter, the person they wanted me to be...
That's why i went ahead and signed up to this class, even when i felt like a deer that had seen a car too late, i won't let the fear be the one that tells me what to do. Who knows, i may make some friends in that class, people that are like me, inadequate and quirky, but fun :)
That's how i want my daughter to see me, as a person that despite not being perfect, did the best she could with what she had, praising God along the way, and laughing at herself when she had to... Just a person that enjoys being herself :)
Ps. I took that picture with my cellphone camera... Can you see the geese flying?

A walk in town

We went for a walk today. This is a beautiful place to live in, there are lots of trees that have lots of flowers, squirrels, birds all over, rabbits...And tulips, lots of tulips that are starting to show everywhere :)

My husband had the idea that we should go and have lunch with him, so at about 11am, Lara and I went out to meet him. It was a beautiful day, warm and sunny. We walked down to Island Park, then turned left to walk to Main, across the rails, to Broadway :) it was a fun walk, there's a lot to see, with all the history and the different types of trees that i'm learning to recognize now. Everything is amazing to me, not used to the change of seasons, i didn't expect to see the amount of new life that would spring out in just a few days...It looks like a complete different place from the winter wonderland that i first saw when i came here. I just love Spring, and all that comes with it...

When it was time to come home for Lara's nap, at about 2pm, i was almost sad i had to go indoors in such a pretty day, so i decided to go meet Peter after work so we could walk some more. This time we went to the Park and stayed there for a while, watching the kids play and laugh together is one of the best things of this day. Lara found a little friend, and they played for a while until it was time to go get Daddy :)

This time we went down (or up, i'm not sure yet ) Broadway to a store called Zambros, or something like that...If you ever come up here, i'd recommend that you find that store. I love what they sell, but what i like the most is the little soda shop they have in the back. They make the best strawberry soda floats in town. I was dissapointed that we got there too late to get some floats, but ended up buying chunky color pencils, a big pad of blank pages, and a puppy book for Lara, who has developed a fixation on dogs lately... And a couple postcards to mail to my friend Joanne in New York City, who doesn't believe she actually knows someone that lives here :)

We've been thinking about biking around the city together as a family, so we went to the bike store to see one for Peter. We ended up buying one, that he'll use to go to work every morning from now on. I have a bike that Andy (Peter's brother) gave me, so i got a helmet for me too. Now we'll look for a cart for Lara (probably on Ebay, they're quite expensive new). Then we just walked home again.

There's something about walking with people you care for. It seems to me that the best times i've had with people is while we walked somewhere... I remember walking with my dad, one time we went to the beach. I remember going home with my cousin Chanel from the Mall in Santo Domingo, and another time in Santiago. Walking with my aunt Tania to go to school in Puerto Plata. Walking with my friend Linda across Bayardo to get to Torre Alta when i was in highschool. Walking with my friends from JCS after watching a movie, before i was married and i spent my weekends at their house.Walking with my sisters in Zona Colonial. Walking with my mom in El Conde. Walking around in Cabarete holding hands, before we had kids, and after. Always walking. There's a closeness that you get by doing this simple thing together that i can't describe. As i walked with Peter and Lara down that street, i was praising God for my family, all the wonderful people that one way or another have walked with me, when i was happy to share my happiness, and when i was sad, to hear me out and lend their shoulders so i could cry on them. I love my beautiful baby, and the wonderful man that God gave me as a husband.

I'll remember this day forever.

PS. I found that postcard on the internet :)

We're moving to Fargo

It's official, we're moving to Fargo. Peter got a really good job in the city, and he is to start next Friday, so on Wednesday we'll go and spend two days looking for an apartment to live... We've seen some on the internet, and he even filed an application for one that's close to his job, but we don't really know where we'll end up. Now we need to pack and get ready, and start a new life, from scratch...
I don't know how this is going to turn out, but God has always blessed us in the past, and we're sure he'll do it again in this new city. We'll be going to Bethel Church, where i'm hoping i'll make new friends, and find a spot to serve, and we have some family in the city as well. I'm going to enjoy living two blocks from a park, and being able to go to museums and the movies :)
I'm feeling very optimistic about this move...