Friday, September 18, 2009

Planning a garden

The past few months have been so crazy... I turned 32 in August, went to New York for the first time and absolutely loved it, and decided to plan and build a garden. If you've ever been to my house, you know how big a yard we have. A sea of green, with nothing special- not what you'd expect of someone like me, that loves color and variety...It's just green and boring. Very green. Too green...So I started dreaming, and when I dream, it usually means I'll be making plans, and lists, and drawings and lots and lots of research. For I am a nerd, and I can't find the way to dream like a regular person, just looking up and relaxing, I need charts and lists. Other people need chocolate or coffee to start their brainstorming, I need research and plans, and lots and lots of drawings.
August came and went in a flash this year. My birthday was uneventful, spent with friends, with nothing special, just that I'm older. I'm still waiting for that knowledge I'm supposed to get as I grow older... So far all I've learned since I am in my thirties is that I need a better haircut and exercise.
I could have learned that without the age gain, if you ask me- but years go by, relentless.
This year Peter decided to give me two presents, a piece of jewelry- bless his soul-, and a trip to NYC to visit my friends. I went there the last week of August, and had a blast. I discovered that I actually like big cities, specially the ones you can see so many museums and parks. There's even tame squirrels! It was fun to do something more adventurous for a change, other than checking for the contents of Lara's training pants (that's pretty adventurous, believe me- you never know if you'll find anything, you go hoping you won't, and then...HELLO!) and I got to hang out with some people I knew, but haven't had the chance to really spend time with. It is so nice to discover you really like people. Not just that you enjoy spending time with them, but that you really like how they are, and that you have more in common than you thought you had.
It seems to me that this trip was more about finding and discovering myself than about discovering a new city. I had to go, to prove to myself that I can do things like that, that I can be brave enough. I tend to doubt and be my worst critic, most of the time. I also discovered how much I'd love to be a photographer...Well, i guess i just re-discovered it. I remember reading National Geographic when I was little, and thinking how cool it would be to travel the world, taking pictures. I used to day dream about it all the time- could even see my name under the picture in the magazine. But all the real photographers I knew, only took pictures of people, so I thought it was impossible for me to do something like that, that it was reserved for American men. I no longer want my pictures in a magazine, but I still like taking pictures as much as I did when i was little. And I'd like to go to school and learn the way to become one. Who knows, maybe I could publish my own book someday.
September has gone fine so far, Breathe groups started, I caught a bad cold. And started planning my garden. It's going to be so pretty when we're done! or so I hope. It's being surprising how my training in color and design can be applied to living things, how those lectures about the importance of having a balanced design have helped me to draw plans for this project. I may never work on graphic design, but I'm sure using its concepts.
Lara's room is on its way out of the ugliness, thanks to our friend Kelly, who has been working so hard there for the last three days. I went in yesterday and i couldn't believe it was the same place. Now on to the mural. I want something special, something that my daughter can see and think, my mother loves me so much she wants me to have this, and be happy. Or maybe that I can see and think I love her so much, i really want her to like it and be happy. I think it's going to have princesses and castles, things Lara seems to like a lot. We'll see, got to work with my little client, and plan and draw a lot. I want it to be her own special place, so I'll be asking her every step of the way.
I can't wait for all my projects to be done, so i can sit and relax... Or maybe not, I'll probably find another thing to dream about when I'm done. One thing is certain, I'll have lots of pictures to share. That's for sure.