Thursday, February 19, 2009

February 2009 :)

Life has changed so much for us in just one year, that it's almost impossible for me to believe that just over a year ago, we had another life, in another town, in another country. It seems like ages since we came here, and everything was so weird to me, from the streets to the food, everything seemed to me different and overwhelming at times... It's funny how in just a year, streets that looked all the same to me, now have names in my mind. How the stores that seemed so big, now are the "normal" I'm used to. How a church that was so intimidating at first, where everyone seemed a stranger, is now a room full of friendly faces, faces that have a name, faces that i have started to recognize as friends. So many things have changed, that it's easy to forget that there was a time when i went out in the middle of December wearing nothing but a tank top and jeans, and still got warm anyway, or that i could get okras any time i wanted, or buy papayas and avocados that weighted almost a pound...That time seems too remote to me, so far away that it's sometimes idealized. Yesterday i realized that it's being about a year since the last time i saw a roach scatter away when i turn the kitchen light on...And that the only ants you see here, live in the garden, not on my walls... And the only rodents I've seen are squirrels and a few rabbits... It's funny how both places have good and bad things, but somehow, when you are away, the good things seem to grow in size, while the bad ones get behind them and disappear in the shadows. I like Fargo a lot, when i think of home, it's this city that comes to mind. I love the "little town" feeling you get when walking down Broadway, and all the pretty sights. I love that there are parks everywhere, and how friendly people is. I love the train, I've come to expect its horn during the day, i love the sounds and love waving at the engine driver as it goes by... I love sunsets here, how they linger as if they were going to last forever...I love so many things and people in this place, Linsey, Bart, Stephanie and her family, Micah and Kim, Andy, just to name a few, that i can't imagine ever leaving- I'd miss it too much.
This month has been very interesting for me, in the sense that I've taken steps to get to know more people, instead of complaining that i miss my former life, I've decided to face forward and start really living here. I've realized that even if God doesn't tell me what my purpose here is, i still can be fruitful, as long as i keep Him by my side... I've decided to embrace the talents He's given me, and enjoy them, instead of wishing i had been given something else in their place. I've decided to enjoy me, and my family, no matter the circumstances were are to deal with. I want my daughter to remember me as someone that obeyed God, and that loved Him more than anything in this world... A woman that can show through the fruit of her spirit, that she He is all she'll ever need. And don't take me wrong, I'll still be my old sinful self, but I'll strive to be better each day- One step at a time.
I'm so thankful for friends and family, they've been so supportive of us and our journey here. I love you all so much! and i love my husband, more than he'll ever know, just for being him, and for standing by my side, even when i don't want him to... Thanks for loving me when i believed that i didn't deserve to be loved, or when i wasn't acting towards you with the love that you deserve...I promise to do a better job tomorrow.
I've grown so much since i came here...And there's still a lot more to go. Pray for me :)